Viewing entries tagged
personal power

I just got curved. Fucking ouch.

    To clarify, getting curved is when someone rejects you, plain and simple. About a year ago, I met a guy at Erewhon (the bougiest grocery store of all time) and we very quickly established a pretty powerful connection. I’m not going to bore you with all the details but we had an incredible night together and discussed nearly everything under the sun, including our own paths of spiritual development, what we envisioned our futures as individuals to be, and explicitly discussed how powerfully we felt towards one another and how we were BOTH looking forward to exploring this relationship together. We talked the next few days and then…radio silence. Fast forward a month and I run into him again and it’s weeiiirrrd. I texted him after, very gracefully and eloquently, expressing that I was hurt and confused by his behavior and lack of communication. He responded by apologizing and explaining it wasn’t the right time for him and maybe we would circle back in the future. Got it. This hurt but catapulted me into an extended period…that still hasn’t stopped… of me being on my SHIT and working on myself. I have an immense amount of faith in the divine. I know what is meant for me will never miss me, and whatever misses me was never meant for me. Though I rooted into my power, I did not forget our connection at all but I really did move ahead.

 

    Fast forward 6 months and I run into him again. When I see him, my heart BURST with love. Not even romantic, just pure love. We established that day that we were going to see each other when he got back in town from work. We text and talk for a few weeks and then again…. silence. At this point I’m kind of annoyed but see it as a divine message and I trust I will hear from him again if I’m meant to. Fast forward to TODAY, 2 months later, and he acts like I don’t even exist… and I did the same. Not in a scared energy, but a powerful one. If you can not give me the respect of an explanation after disappearing multiple times, I will not give you one ounce of my attention. Though I feel like I handled the situation as well as I possibly could, it still fucking hurts. It hurts to know that straight up, someone does not care to have you in their life. I know many people have felt this and my heart aches for y’all. What can we do? FREE OURSELVES. We are good enough. TRUST THAT. KNOW THAT. Let yourself feel what you need to but channel your hurt into motivation to be better than you ever have.  Do not hand over your power and cower in defeat. Rejection is one helllll of a teacher but really let it be. The hurt you feel is actually an ego death, by the way. You wanted what you wanted and didn’t get it. Ouch. But it’s ALL. GOOD. Trust in the big picture, my babiez. Getting curved is dope because it means you can take ownership of what happened and THAT is true power. Do not be embarrassed or feel dumb. Pick yourself up. Get to work on you. 

 

LOVE AND LIGHT XOXOXOX